WHERE IS MY MONEY??? Jose said I was a hot commo...comma...camadatee...no, I didn't spell that right. Anyway, he said I was hot and he promised me we'd be rich by the end of the month. Hello??? Have I seen a check yet?
God, I'm bored. How many beers are left? Geez, less then a six-pack. Okay, Mason's going to the liquor store later today, so he'll just have to get me some more. I just hope he doesn't start whining again about how much everything costs.
I don't know why Jose won't talk to that guy Larry Flynt. I don't have a problem taking my clothes off for anyone. And this time I'll get paid for it! They just can't shoot my back...the acne's not gone yet. My tattoo still looks great, though. But Larry only offered $500,000, and I'm worth a lot more then that. Jose wishes Playboy had made me an offer, but they didn't. Well, that Hefner guy is old anyway, and he was more worried about getting dumped by his girlfriend, or something. His loss.
When Jose comes back from New York we are going to have a talk. I am so sick of him flying back and forth, and then he never comes home with a check. He always says he's "in discussions" with the TV stations. All he's doing is stuffing his face at restaurants, or yapping on TV to that loud guy with the big mustash (have to look up how to spell that word), Geraldo. Jose says he's talking to Geraldo for free, because it's good publicity for us. Okay, but, the guy has a boat, and he hasn't even invited me on it yet. I need to work on my tan, too.
Jose is now trying to say that maybe we can't make a lot of money right away. What the hell is he talking about? I mean, I'm on TV every day. Someone's always talking about me. I love how they say I'm going to make money whether people hate me or not. Everyone wants me, except for that old bag Nancy Grace. She keeps calling me "tot mom" and a killer. Hasn't someone else's kid diappeared yet? God, lady, move ON.
Am definiely not going to talk to that Al Taylor guy anymore. He didn't bring me a check when he came to visit. Asshole - he said I'd get a million dollars. Then he said he'd only pay $50,000 right away, and the rest after the interview. He was trying to tell me how the interview would have to go to make the deal. No one tells me what to do.
Now Jose says we have to come up with a new business plan for marketing me. He says ABC is pretending they're not interested in me anymore, and that if they ever did interview me, that they wouldn't pay me, so they're out. Jose says CBS doesn't have enough money, but that NBC is still looking good for us, but that they're telling everyone they won't pay me. Jose says they will, they just have to do it in a way that no one finds out.
He tried to sell the video of me on the plane the night I got out, but he said no one wanted it. He said people got turned off that I was drinking a beer and it seemed like I was celebrating. Well, duh, of course I was celebrating. I kept telling Jose I'd get out if I never talked, and it worked. But he says I didn't act like I was sad or sorry about Caylee dying. Why would I be sad? Besides, no one is interested in Caylee anymore.
Oh, that reminds me, now I'm supposed to be learning to greeve (don't think that's the right spelling) about Caylee dying. He says I don't ever have to say how Caylee died, I just have to act sad about it. And I'm supposed to act like I have mental problems, so people will start to feel sorry for me. Then he'll tell the media I'm better, and they'll really want to talk to me. He says that until I go on TV, he's going to try to get a job somewhere as a legal expert. I made him famous! But he hasn't told me yet how much money he'll pay me for that. He's not going to get away with just buying me beer and promising me a stylist. Does he think I'm stupid? I want cash!
Plus, Jose says when I go out I'll probably always need a bodyguard. He and Mason are worried about my safety. They think people are so mad at me that they might want to hurt me. Get over it, people. I'm free! Oh, that reminds me, I still have to write a thank you note to the jurors. I don't see why I have to, but Jose says I do. I hope I don't have to write 12 notes. No, I'll just write one, that's easier. A lot of people call them the Pinellas Pinheads, but I think I'll just say, "Hello, Everyone," or something friendly like that.
Hey, having a bodyguard is kinda cool. But we're going to lose the old fart that's guarding me now. Once I start doing interviews, I'll be able to go to clubs again. I can't wait! I'm going to make Jose hire some younger guy who's hot to protect me. An old guy isn't good for my image.
Well, Jose's due back in a couple of hours. He told me if I got bored while he was gone, then I should work on my book. I've tried, but it's hard. I can't write about what happened to Caylee or my family, or my time in jail, or anything like that. Jose says people already think I'm a liar, and that if I write about that stuff then they won't buy my book. He says I should try to write about all I've learned from everything that's happened. I'll talk to him about that some more when he gets home. What the hell does he mean? What was I supposed to learn? Time for another beer.
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