Peace on Earth, Good Will To All

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

-Luke 2:7-11

A Tale of Two Nicoles

Nicole C., 24, was murdered on Saturday, December 17, 2011. Her mother had left the house to run errands at approximately 6:30pm. When she returned home an hour later, she found her daughter dead - shot once through the head. Her uncle told the press that Nicole had had some "issues" that would "probably come out later", but that she was, basically, a good kid.

Nicole C. had certainly had a rough year. She'd had several arrests, for drug possession and theft. She'd spent a week in the hospital, battling an infection. She'd been briefly engaged to a young man named Les, but was despairing after their breakup. Just before Thanksgiving, she mentioned on her Facebook page that she had sustained a couple of broken ribs - that she had done nothing to deserve it happening, and that she had no money to go to the hospital to have herself treated for her injuries.

Nicole F., 22, died as the result of a hit-and-run on Monday, December 19, 2011. The local papers cryptically reported that she was involved in an altercation with a man on the parking lot of a restaurant at approximately 5pm. Though the extent of her injuries have not been made public, she was taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital because of her injuries. At approximately 6:45pm, she slipped out of the hospital, before she could be treated. She apparently intended to walk back to her vehicle. Two hours later, a state trooper found her body by the side of the road.

Nicole F. had also been arrested. Just after Thanksgiving she'd been pulled over and had been charged with a DUI.

Both of the young women's deaths received extensive news coverage. While the online articles dryly reported the facts of their demise, the comment sections following the stories exploded, for the most part, in a rash of cruelty and condemnation of the young women. The gist of the majority of the comments ran along the lines of the young women being "useless" or "druggies". The few commentators who attempted to defend the reputations of the young women were met with derision and personal attacks.

Yes, using drugs and driving when drunk is just plain stupid. But it happens. Picking a stinker for a boyfriend (or girlfriend) is something almost everyone has done at one time or another. God knows, I certainly cringe at many of my poor choices that I made in my twenties. And, for the record, I never did drugs, but, back in the day, I did drive once or twice when inebriated. Of course, seat belts weren't required then, either.

Most of us live to tell the tales of our youth and folly, shaking our heads over our own foolishness, wondering aloud at choices made without the benefit of experience, grateful for the lessons learned from our foibles. Our choices, good and bad, sometimes make for some damn funny tales in the retelling.

But, as I plan the last trip to the grocery store to get the food for Christmas dinner, and will finish wrapping presents with my own cherished daughter, my mind keeps drifting to thoughts of the families of the two Nicoles. Two familes have just been handed a tragedy, and, probably, a guaranteed lousy Christmas for the rest of their lives. Their beloved children are gone too soon, and far too young. It is every parent's worst nightmare come to life. How does one deal with the loss of a child and manage to live out the rest of their lives? How do they find meaning and purpose? Do they ever feel joy ever again? How in the hell will they even get out of bed in the morning? It's an experience every parent prays to be spared.

As of this morning, the murderer of Nicole C. has not yet been caught, nor has the driver who killed Nicole F. Hopefully, their grieving families will soon receive the very slight comfort of knowing who took the lives of their beloved children.

Ahhh...

Time to relax, settle down, and enjoy the holiday. Darling daughter is off school until January 3rd. Looking forward to lots of time together, doing some baking, and wrapping gifts. It's going to be a beautiful Christmas.

Best "A Christmas Carol" EVER

Tonight on Turner Classic Movies (TCM) the best version EVER of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" is airing. 8pm - don't miss it.

And Now - Another Parental Moment...

The time - 11:00pm on Friday, December 9, 2011. Darling Daughter and I have stayed up late, because it is the start of the weekend. I am anticipating a Saturday with nothing to do - other then catch up on the laundry, and cleaning the house.

The dialog - Darling Daughter, after fishing in her backpack: "Oh, here it is."

"Sleepy Mother: "What?"

DD: "The invitation to Emily's birthday party. Don't worry, I already told her I'd definitely be there. When is December 10th?"

SM: "TOMORROW!"

DD: "Well, that's not going to be a problem, is it?"

Grrrrrrrr...

The Petit Family

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength."
- Ralph Sockman

Thinking today of the gentle Jennifer, Hayley, and Michaela Petit.

And of Dr. William Petit, a man of incredible strength.

How the Insipid White Chick Has Ruined Hawaii 5-0

The second season of Hawaii 5-0 stinks. The demise of the once-great show can be summed up in two words: Lori Weston.

Hawaii 5-0 roared onto TV in the fall of 2010. Billed as a reboot of the original Hawaii 5-0 many grew up watching, the show sported a fresh look, an exciting cast, and edgy plots.

Alex O'Loughlin, Scott Caan, Grace Park, and Daniel Dae Kim were perfect for the parts of Steve, Danny, Kono, and Chin. Their chemistry and camaraderie was evident; their acting - superb. Mark Dacascos, as Steve's longtime nemesis, Wo Fat, was a pleasant surprise, and a worthy addition to the roster.

Then in early 2011, the show got weird. Out of nowhere, Insipid White Chick #1 was thrown into the mix. Larisa Oleynik (a fine actress) was cast as Jenna Kaye, and the magic of the show began to fade. Ms. Oleynik had little opportunity to exercise her acting chops, as the writers of the show, having tossed her into the mix, didn't seem to know quite what to do with her. Their attempts at making Jenna appear fearless and feisty failed miserably. Jenna was more often annoying then not, and many fans of the show were vociferous in their dislike of the character.

I admit, it was with great relief that I watched Jenna hop on the plane to search for her fiance in the opening episode of Season Two. Any hopes of the show returning to its initial greatness was quickly dispelled, as Insipid White Chick #2 - Lori Weston - was quickly foisted onto the team and the viewers.

Understand, please, that I am NOT disparaging Lauren German, the actress who portrays Lori Weston. The woman can only work with what she's given, and though the writers have given her WAY too much face time on the show, her character is poorly written and developed.

The lame explanation given for Lori's presence on the show is that the governor has appointed her as a type of watchdog for the 5-0 team. What has become disgusting is the writers shoving the character down the viewer's throats.

Wow - what a woman this Lori is. She's a profiler, an expert in martial arts, a crack shot, and knows everything about every bit of new technology that exists. In short order, she's been thrust into nearly every scene.

Those fun days of the "carguments" with Steve and Danny? Gone. Now Super-Lori intrudes. Remember the beautiful, intelligent, kick-ass Kono of the first season? Gone. Super-Lori has taken over the majority of Kono's job. Chin Ho who? Super-Lori has pushed him damn near out of the picture as well.

The problem is that the character of Lori Weston adds nothing to the show. But the writers would have us believe that there are not enough superlatives on the planet for the glorious creature they've written. Clearly someone in the writer's circle is working through his issues of never dating the Prom Queen in high school. Because the character of Lori Weston could ONLY been invented by male writers. Such a wearying Superwoman/Fox/Earth Mother/Goddess would never have been created by a female writer. Real women know that such a creature doesn't exist. Lori would have been presented as more well-rounded, with a past, or some angst, or dammit, a flaw. And a female writer sure as hell wouldn't have tarted Lori up in tight pants and heels, as the writers have been wont to do. We get the point guys - you think Lori's hot. And it's gotten very old, very quickly.

Only when the writers of the show are female is Super-Lori, not chewing up the scenery. Unfortunately, there have only been four episodes this season written by women. Case in point - the episode that aired this past Monday. Melissa Glenn and Jessica Rieder successfully managed to inject some of the former spark the show once possessed. Kono & Chin actually had something to DO in this episode, Steve and Danny bantered in the car as in the days of old. And, interestingly, Super-Lori damn near got her ass whumped (so much for those martial arts skills!) by actress Aimee Garcia, who portrayed a memorable, deadly kidnapper. Now, that's an actress who could bring some much-needed spice to the lagging show. My only quibble about this episode is with the calf-eyed glance Super-Lori cast at Steve at the end of the episode.

On next week's episode, Chin and Malia get married. Let's hope the show focuses on the happy event. But, as the episode has been writen by a male, I'm not holding out much hope. Viewers will probably be forced to endure more of Super-Lori's wearying presence. Let's just hope that she doesn't hop up in the middle of the wedding, push the minister aside, and perform Chin & Malia's wedding ceremony, because, remember, she can do anything.

So, how can the writers fix the mess this season has become? Getting rid of Super-Lori would be an excellent first step. No, I'm not advocating killing her off. But give the broad a desk job in the Governor's office, send her on an extended vacation, or pack her off on a mission of some sort.

Restoring some badly needed diversity to the show would also be welcome. Season two smacks of white-bread - both in the majority of the writing, and in the excessive focus on Super-Lori. Damn, those Asians on the team sure got dumbed down once she showed up! Okay, Masi Oka, as Max Bergman, has gotten more screen time this season. But what was his big moment? Why, escorting Super-Lori, tricked out a la Sandy from "Grease", to a party. Excuse me while I gag.

The last thing this show needs is another insipid white chick. Let's hope the male writers wise up quickly.

A Mrs. Mike Update - Waiting for MBZ

In the past few years, I have been fortunate to hear from many wonderful people, all of whom, like myself, who have read and loved the book Mrs. Mike. All are hungry for more information about Katherine Mary O'Fallon Flannigan and Sgt. Mike.

Through the years, many of us have learned that Kathy and Mike's love story was fictionalized by the writers Benedict and Nancy Freedman. Yes, Kathy and Mike really existed, but many of the details in the Freedman's book had been fabricated. Yet there is precious little information available on the internet, despite years of searching.

In late October, I received an response to a blog post from a gracious woman, with the initials "MBZ". She told me that she was the great-niece of Kathy Flannigan, and that she and her sister were hoping to learn more information about their great-aunt. She mentioned that she was gratified by the continuing interest in her great-aunt's story.

Unfortunately, she didn't include an email address, so I could correspond with her directly. I did, however, respond to her post, giving my email address, and inviting her to contact me directly. I have also received several messages from others who are also waiting and hoping that MBZ will contact me again.

What a lucky woman, to have such a rich link to a woman whose story has touched millions. MBZ, thank you. I hope to hear from you soon...

Why I Hate the Yearly Science Fair Project

Over the years, I have learned that there is nothing that flips my Immediately Bitchy Button more quickly then the appearance of the packet heralding my daughter's yearly Science Fair project.

The agony routinely commences in early October - Cherished Daughter comes home from school, fishes out an immense packet of Pepto pink or spearmint-colored paper, and lays it gingerly in front of me. "It's that time of year," she offers, mustering a sickly grin.

Every year, I promise myself that I will not let the cursed packet and the subsequent project dictate my demeanor and my life. Every year, I fail miserably in accomplishing that goal. Every year, as I eye the offending packet, I rocket from Zen calm to incredibly foul in under five seconds.

The first step is to find an experiment for the project. In order to do so, I need to acquire clairvoyance, as it is not really about finding a science project, at this point. This involves knowing how the current year's science teacher thinks. Is s/he a look-we-all-hate-this-but-you-know-the-drill type of teacher, or is s/he the I-love-nothing-more-in-life-then-science-and-I-don't-care-if-it-kills-you-you're-going-to-love-it-too type?

Now, I still hate every second of every day until the cursed project is completed, but the first type of teacher ameliorates the eight weeks of agony - somewhat.

After four hours of online research, we decided on a relatively inexpensive experiment - testing the water absorption of pinto beans. Three trials, 18 plastic cups, a large bag of dried beans ($4.00 and change). Okay, I'd have to buy a food scale (digital - $20.00). At least that is something that can be used regularly. The soaked pinto beans would be tossed in a crock pot for turkey chili (2lbs ground turkey - $7.00).

I was ready to roar out of the gate & get this experiment DONE. But this year, unlike previous years, the idea had to be submitted to the teacher for approval. We were fortunate to get approval immediately. Then there was another layer of the approval process - filling out a six-page packet, which detailed how the research was going to be done, how the experiment would progress, etc. Jen aced that one, too.

Hindering the start of the experiment was one art teacher's sliding deadlines on the Ice Cream Princess costume (see post below), and another teacher deciding it would be fun for the kids to design an edible architectural structure for another class. So, my mind shifted from pinto beans to Starbursts, sour straws, and confectioner's sugar cement for a week.

Along the way, Jen dropped the unwelcome news that whereas, in the past, ALL kids had to do the cursed Science Fair project, this year the teachers were only requiring the kids in the advanced science classes to do the project.

I debated driving down to her school and strangling the bonehead that decided only the "smarter" kids would endure the yearly torture, but decided a Science Fair project was not worth a stint in prison. But my foul mood reached a new level after that news.

Science Fair projects are a waste of time, a waste of effort, and a waste of money. Sure, we always learn something new every year (after we did the experiment two years ago about fat bloom and chocolate, there are certain brands of chocolate I will never consume again, but, to avoid a lawsuit, I will not name companies here).

And why does everything have to be done in triplicate? All the associated crapola pertaining to the experiment has to be laboriously documented in a journal (extra composition books in closet, no money out of pocket). After the journal, all the associated crapola has to be crafted into a report, and handed to the teacher in a presentation folder, of course (uncles love to give Paper Junkie daughter stationery supplies - free!). Then the associated crapola has to be displayed on a science fair board (kiss another $13.00 goodbye for that).

And lets not forget the requisite photographs, at least five, to show the various steps of the experiment ($7.42 to develop film). It's hard not to think that one is frittering their life away while snapping shots of plastic cups, a food scale, a bag of beans, and measuring cups.

Today, with relief and exhaustion, Jen toted the journal, the presentation folder, and the cursed board off to school. I am confident, after all of her hard work, that she will get a great grade on the project.

Once the project is graded, she will cart the board back home, and it will be stashed in the depths of the garage, along with all the boards from Projects Past. This weekend, I will catch up on cleaning and laundry. We'll put up the Christmas tree, and relish the freedom from the clutches of the agony of the Science Fair project.

We are free...until next October.

The Curse of the Ice Cream Princess

At the ripe age of 55, many parts of my brain do not fire up with the alacrity easily summoned in my youth. Of course, I can no longer mow the (large) lawn without staggering into the house afterward and reaching for over-the-counter pain relief, either, but that's another story for another day.


I will start my rant/musings by stating that my daughter and I are very blessed that she attends a magnet school of the arts. The sight of her one classroom - wide expanses of work tables, easels scattered about, and the shelves bursting with paints and brushes is a joy to behold. If I were 8 inches shorter and sporting a few less wrinkles and errant gray hairs, I'd creep into that class, snatch up a canvas, and paint the entire day.

Darling daughter is also taking a design class this year - a clothing design class. At the start of the school year, I was ecstatic. Her teacher, while tough, is excellent. So, when Jennifer announced that her assignment was to design a fantasy character costume, which would eventually be created, I was thrilled. Our house is awash in fabric and embellishments. Jen sketched an outfit she deemed "The Ice Cream Princess" - delightful, feminine, colorful, and fun. When the formal announcement to begin sewing came, I was confident that the assignment would be a breeze for her.

I was wrong.

On a Saturday evening, as we were in the car, Jen piped up, "Did I tell you that Ms. G. wants us to make the Ice Cream Princess costume?"

"No," I replied, "When is it due?"

"On Thursday." Jen answered.

Though I could hear my voice escalating in parental panic, I couldn't stop myself. "NEXT Thursday???" I quasi-shrieked.

"Mom - the car windows are open. And, yes, it's due next Thursday."

Perfuming the interior of the car with exasperated, and occasionally profane utterences, I drove us back to the house and sprinted inside. It was Saturday evening. Goodbye to Sunday's planned lawn work and ibuprofin - hello STRESS.

Everything we needed to construct the costume was to hand. By Sunday evening, the costume was 75% completed. I was silly enough to imagine a little leisurely sewing on Monday evening, as I fed my intellect by speculating on the next elimination on "Dancing With The Stars".

I was wrong.

On Monday afternoon, my daughter hopped off the bus and into the car, eyeing me warily. "Um, there's been a change with the costume."

I glanced at her, but didn't comment. Jen's voice took on the rapid, breathy, I'll-deliver-the-bad-news-all-at-once tone. "Ms. G. says that she doesn't think all the kids will be able to get the costume done by Thursday, so she changed the assignment. She said we now have to do the tee shirt design project."

Mind you, the tee shirt project also existed only on paper. Taking a deep breath, I sought clarification, "And when will the tee shirt project be due?"

"Um, this Thursday." The same day the Ice Cream Princess costume was originally due.

Again, the ride to the house, and another mad dash inside to paw through fabric. I couldn't tell who danced to what that evening on "Dancing With The Stars", or who should've been voted off. I cut fabric and Jen stitched and stitched until our eyes were pink with exhaustion and we collapsed into bed. By Tuesday evening, as someone left DWTS, the shirt was completed.

On Wednesday, Jen got off the bus, and hopped into the car. Same wary look on her face. Same breathy voice. "Um. Ms. G. says it doesn't look like everyone will be able to get the tee shirt project due either, so she pushed the due date out until next Monday."

Too tired to drum up any significant emotion, I tonelessly asked, "And the Ice Cream Princess costume? Is that now due Monday, as well?"

"No, she hasn't said when that will be due." Jen replied. "but since my shirt is done, Ms. G. thinks it would be nice for me to wear it to the Art Gallery opening at the school tomorrow night."

This is where I go on record by admitting I am a bad mother. I should be proud of my daughter for taking her assignments so seriously and for striving to meet assignment deadlines. My daughter's wearable art was praised...deemed good enough to be proudly worn to school. Yet all I could think of was the hope I would not run into Ms. G. and indulge in rude commentary about her capricious deadlines for projects.

Fortunately, I did NOT see Ms. G. at the art gallery. Jen got an "A" on the tee shirt project. The still-75%-completed Ice Cream Princess costume is languishing in a closet, as we are now in the throes of the annual, and much-loathed Science Fair project.

But I have a sneaking suspicion Ms. G. is about to push my Extreme Cursing Button very soon. Yesterday, Jen got off the bus, hopped in the car, gave me a wary glance, and piped, "Ms. G. had made a few suggestions for changing the Ice Princess costume."

"Yes?" I queried.

"She thinks it would look really great with some fake fur around the neck, and to add some leggings."

&$!@*#, oh, I mean, stay tuned...

A Mrs. Mike Update

Today, it feels like I won the lottery.

Long overdue on blogging - daughter's heavy load of schoolwork, the yearly cursed Science Fair project, work, cooking cleaning, laundry, cutting the lawn, courting sleep - well, you get the idea.

This morning, it occured to me to visit my poor neglected blog. To my delight, there was a single comment waiting my approval. 

Upon reading the comment, I got tears in my eyes, and a simultaneous rush of elation. The commentor is the great-niece of Katherine Mary O'Fallon Flannigan - Mrs. Mike!

Her comment is posted, along with my email address. I am hoping she will remember this blog and choose to contact me.

To Kathy Flannigan's great-niece - because of your great-aunt's story, I was inspired to adopt my daughter. I would be beyond thrilled to hear your family history. I will respect your privacy, and NEVER divulge any information you may choose to share with me, unless you give me express permission to do so. Am kicking myself in the tail for taking so long to read and respond to your comment, but feel you will understand.

Thank you, thank you for your comment. I hope to hear from you soon.

Lie #1,977,806,483,702 - Dr. Phil Interview With George and Cindy Anthony Airs Today

De Void of Conscience, Land O' Lies, AnthonyLand, PsychoWorld. Yes, the first part of Dr. Phil's interview with George and Cindy Anthony airs today. The second part is due to air tomorrow.

Dr. Phil appeared on "The View" yesterday and dropped the chestnut that Cindy Anthony is "very much in denial" and that "she seems to make excuses at every turn." for Her Heinous, Casey Anthony.

Basically, Dr. Phil is bargaining on people tuning in to listen to Cindy Anthony do what she does best - lie for and about her daughter, Casey. He is banking on getting high ratings for this so-called exclusive.

The Anthonys, as has been revealed, are set to get a half-million dollar "donation" to their bogus foundation. FOR LYING. Casey, wherever she's holed up, is no doubt having a major conniption at Mommy and Daddy's payday.

The Casey Anthony saga is the perfect storm. A beautiful child, Caylee Anthony, is murdered. Casey Anthony got the gift of 12 inept jurors, a showman attorney, and an acquittal.  George and Cindy Anthony continue to dishonor Caylee with their continued defense of their daughter, and their efforts to cash in on Caylee's death.

Question - Will you be watching the Dr. Phil interview with the lying Ants? What are your thoughts? 

September 11, 2001

Remembering those that lost their lives on September 11, 2001.

Casey Anthony - Enough

Enough.

Time to cut through the bullshit surrounding Her Heinous, Casey Anthony.

Casey is a murderer, a narcissistic sociopath, a thief, and a lying slut. 

Casey was acquitted because the Pinellas Pinheads, aka the jury of her peers, were either too lazy, too stupid, or too motivated by greed to do their job properly.

Jose Baez was not, is not, nor ever will be a competent attorney. 

Cheney Mason is a rude old bastard.

There isn't enough therapy in the world to "fix" Casey. Quit the flowery language - Casey can't be healed. She's not "learning to grieve" her upbringing, or Caylee's death.

Cindy Anthony is not a grieving grandmother. She is as proficient a liar as her daughter. Cindy does not deserve a pass for perjuring herself on the stand.

George and Lee Anthony need to grow a pair, stand up to Cindy, and tell the truth about what really went on in their dysfunctional household once Caylee's disappearance was discovered.

The Anthony's latest "foundation" is NOT to honor Caylee. It's merely a quasi-clever way for them to cash in on their granddaughter's death.

Nancy Grace is not responsible for the media frenzy that swirled about this case.

Geraldo Rivera and Jane Velez-Mitchell need to quit kissing Jose Baez's ass. 

Casey should be ordered to pay back every cent of the cost of investigating Caylee's disappearance. This is not rocket science - She knew Caylee was dead, yet continued to lead law enforcement on a wild goose chase with her lies.

Casey Anthony does not deserve a fat check for pictures of herself, for a book deal, or for a TV appearance. McDonald's is always hiring - get a job. Getting away with murder shouldn't be rewarded. 

George and Cindy Anthony, likewise, need to quit with the trademarks on Caylee's name, their bogus foundations, and their TV interviews. Try honoring Caylee's brief life, for a change, not cashing in on her death. Seek gainful employment. 

Kudos to the many individuals who have made their feelings known to the major news networks and their sponsors. Featuring and sponsoring a murderer, her family, and her attorneys will not be tolerated.

Ever.

Pfc. Alberto Obod Jr.

On April 22, 2011, PFC. Alberto Obod Jr., 26, became an American citizen.

On Sunday, August 28, 2011, Pfc. Obod died in Afghanistan, when the vehicle in which he was traveling rolled over.

Pfc. Obod initially worked in a hotel after arriving in the U.S., sending whatever money he could back to his wife and child in the Phillipines. Inspired by a younger brother joining the Navy and becoming a citizen, Alberto joined the Army.

Obod was assigned to the 391st Combat Sustainment Support Battalion of the 21st Theater Sustainment Command's 16th Sustainment Brigade, based in Bamberg, Germany.

The photo, above, shows Alberto's smile as he received his certificate of citizenship. "That was a very proud day for him and for us," Obod's stepfather, John Restino said. He added that Obod hoped citizenship would enable him to eventually bring his wife and child to America.

Thank you, Pfc. Obod, for your service and your sacrifice.

August 31 - A Day To Remember

"He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children."  Psalm 113

Twelve years ago today, I received a call I had been waiting a long time to receive. "Congratulations," my social worker said, "You have a daughter."

Hurricane Irene

Praying for all who may be affected by Hurricane Irene.

Please do not ignore the severity of this hurricane. There are many lists available online to advise you as to how to prepare for a hurricane - please check them out.

Stay safe.

Hawkeye Says Goodbye

Navy SEAL U.S. Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Jon T. Tumilson, 35, was among the 30 American troops killed August 6 when their Chinook helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan.

Jon's beloved dog, Hawkeye, laid in front of Jon's casket throughout Jon's funeral (held in Rockford, Iowa). Jon's cousin, Lisa Pembleton, captured the heartbreaking image above.

Crying...

Singer/Songwriter Nick Ashford Dies at 70

Transported back -

A stifling Baltimore summer in the early evening, car windows down, the radio blasting in the hot air. Nick and Val are on the radio.

All the cliches...gas was cheap, sharing a cold six-pack with friends, and everyone in the car singing along to "Don't Cost You Nothing." No seatbelts required then, the radio in my used Ford Galaxy 500 stayed locked to V-103.

The music of Nick Asford and Valerie Simpson has always played in the background of my life - what I was, what I am, what I have yet to become. Nick Ashford's death is a sharp reminder that there is still so much I want to do.

Get ready, my beloved daughter. Tonight - another hot summer night - the house will be filled, loudly, with music from Mom's past.

Yes, you'll have to hear, again, about the six times I saw Ashford & Simpson in concert.

Yes, you'll have to hear, again, "Now, THIS is great music." I will thoughtfully refrain from following that remark up with, "Unlike the crap that's passed off as music today."

Yes, you'll have to hear, again, how Mom and Aunt Diane thought Nick Ashford was hot, hot, hot, and that Valerie was one lucky woman to get his looks, his talent, and a successful marriage blessed with two beautiful daughters all in one package.

Sure, I'll embarress you - indulge me. And, yes, Aunt Diane will call to talk about her memories, too, and you'll have to hear it all over again. I'll put on the speaker if you want to experience the full overload of reminiscing.

Be thankful you're in school this morning when I talk to Mom-Mom...your grandmother thought Nick was a handsome, talented cuss, as well.

Tonight, the sheer joy I usually feel whenever I hear Nick and Val sing will still be there - it will always be there. But tonight, there will be a sadness in my heart, as I close my eyes and remember.

Rest in peace, Nick. Thank you for the music. "It Seems to Hang On" - thankfully, forever.

Probation, Investigation, And An Anthony Smackdown

Finger-flipping Cheney Mason and Lisabeth Fryer filed an emergency petition, via email,  yesterday with an appeal court, asking that Judge Belvin Perry's recent order that requires Casey Anthony to return to Orlando to serve a year's probation be vacated. However, the Fifth District Court of Appeal has said that a case won't be opened until a paper copy is formally filed. WFTV is reporting that the paper filing could occur later today.

Gather the necessary hankies to stem the tears that will surely flow in sympathy for Casey. If Her Heinous has to return to Orlando, Mason and Fryer stated in their order, their sociopathic flower will be subject to supervision and "the anxiety associated with a probationary period."

Yeah, well, it's a safe bet that Amy Huizenga experienced a bit of anxiety herself when she returned from vacation and realized that her former friend, Casey, had pilfered her checkbook.  Casey certainly didn't experience any anxiety as she trolled the aisles of Target, snapping up bras and booze, then breezily forging Amy's name on the stolen checks.

After Casey pled guilty to the check fraud charges, Judge Stan Strickland ordered that Casey serve a year's probation, due to commence after Casey was released from jail. The Department of Corrections misinterpreted Strickland's sentence, and said that Casey had served her probation while still in jail.

Turns out the defense team knew full well that Casey's probation was to begin AFTER her release from jail, and neglected to inform the court of the DOC error. Perry addressed the defense teams's actions in his upholding of Strickland's ruling, stating, "the failure to abide by that order and the failure to notify the court of a known scrivener's error in the order may be a violation of an attorney's duty of candor."

"No attorney should conduct himself or herself in a way that impedes an order of the court. ... Our system of justice should never be in the position of rewarding someone who willfully hides the ball."

One signature noticably missing from the emergency petition is that of Casey's lead attorney, Jose Baez, who is, once again, being investigated by the Florida Bar. The latest investigation stems from Casey's current probation snafu, though it is unknown at this time if the Bar initiated the investigation, or if it's a result of a complaint being filed.

Bozo has been investigated by the Bar several times since taking on Casey as a client. In September 2009, the Bar cleared Baez of an ethical complaint which accused him of receiving inappropriate payment while defending Casey.

Also, in 2009, the Bar cleared Baez of ethics allegations made by private investigator Dominic Casey, who claimed Baez never paid him. Furthermore, Dominic said Baez had advised him to walk away from Caylee's remains, if they were found, and to contact Baez immediately. Both of the claims were dismissed because of insufficient evidence.

Judge Stan Strickland wrote the Bar about the Dominic Casey incident as well, but no formal action was taken.

The Bar did initiate its own investigation into Baez after the State Attorney's Office faxed news releases that seemed to be generated on his behalf by his former spokesman. The news releases were critical of State Attorney Lawson Lamar, yet the Bar found no disciplinary proceedings against Baez were appropriate.

Another complaint was filed with the Bar against Baez in February of this year, although the details about that complaint are unknown.
 
Baez, who normally basks in the glow of the limelight, has yet to respond to requests for a comment. No matter. The Team Baez talking heads will no doubt commence wailing on-air about this latest wrong levied against the viper they've taken to their bosoms. Geraldo? Jean? Jane? Linda? Time to rally round your fat favorite.

Not everyone is willing to swallow the Anthony Adoration Kool-Aid. Yesterday, a strong voice of dissent emerged. Drew Kesse, whose daughter, Jennifer, disappeared in 2006 (and has, sadly, never been found), blasted Dr. Phil and George and Cindy Anthony. Kesse stated that the Anthonys are “a disgrace and an insult to every missing person and their families.”

Kesse wrote: “Let’s make this very clear, Caylee was murdered. She was never missing and should not ever be considered missing at any time during the entire ordeal. Caylee has never been the center of anything since she was killed. Everyone else in her family has, but the true victim — not.”

”Let’s get one thing straight right now, Dr. Phil, you are a pimp for this garbage,” Kesse continued. ”The Anthonys and this new foundation are the biggest insults to every missing person in America today. Dr. Phil, after the show airs and you make a donation to their new scam, have on real families of the missing.”

Kesse’s succinct message to the Anthonys: “Go away, far away, please.”

Thank you, Drew Kesse.

Dr. Phil To Interview George And Cindy Anthony

Dr. Phil issued a press release yesterday, announcing that his 10th season on air will open with an exclusive interview with George and Cindy Anthony.

The official release states -

“Cindy and George have suffered a horrific loss with the untimely death of their granddaughter Caylee, and they have since endured an unprecedented public attack on their family,” says Dr. Phil. “Have these attacks been warranted, or not? I looked them straight in the eye and asked some very tough questions. Despite living under a ‘media microscope’ for years, THEIR story has never really been told and there’s so much more to it than we’ve heard in the media. Throughout this extensive interview, we explore every detail of their ordeal, and they answer every question I know will be on our viewers' minds. Nothing is off limits during this interview."

What Dr. Phil is REALLY saying - 

"Hey, I'm like anyone else trying to hang on in this business. My benefactress, Oprah, is off the air. My ass is in the hot seat. They've given me her time slot, and if I don't make this thing work, I'm in deep shit. That's the real reason I'm interviewing George and Cindy Anthony. Will they tell the truth? Hell, NO - do they ever? Well, George might, but we all know Cindy's not going to let him get a word in edgewise. Can't wait to hear how she'll spin that lying on the stand to protect Casey. Sure, they'd have been a better fit for Jerry Springer, but I got them first and my ratings ought to go through the roof with this coup!"

George and Cindy Anthony's statement about the upcoming Dr. Phil interview -

Cindy states, “We knew that we’d want to speak at some point, and we figured there was no better place than with Dr. Phil. We are hoping that by doing this interview, we will be able to help other people who may be experiencing struggles of their own. We certainly don’t want anyone to experience what we have these last three years.” George Anthony continues, “We appreciate the way in which Dr. Phil has helped others, and we trust him enough to completely open our hearts in telling our story. He is a professional that understands the uniqueness of our family situation. There’s no one better to do this interview than Dr. Phil. We knew he would ask the difficult questions, and we were right.”

What Cindy is really saying -

"Yippee! I scored a big interview before Casey did! After all that lying I did for her and she still wouldn't talk to me after the trial, well, who's going to be on TV now? Remember, honey, you learned from the best, and don't you ever forget it. Quit eating and consider that Hustler offer. I don't see YOU appearing on TV anytime soon."

What George is really saying -

"I'll say whatever Cindy allows me to say."

The Anthonys supposedly sought no compensation for their interview, but asked that a donation be made to a charitable organization they have formed to honor their granddaughter. The couple claims they will derive no income from “Caylee’s Fund,” which will be a federally sanctioned 501 (c) (3) which intends to focus on promoting processes to educate the public about - and advocation for - grandparents’ rights, as well as missing and abused children.

The "tough questions" Dr. Phil SHOULD ask -

"You know y'all are one effed up bunch, right? I don't think there's a professional on the planet that could get the truth out of any one of you, but we've got an hour to fill, so let's work together, shall we?"

"People, what is your problem? If Casey were my daughter, I'd have kicked that lying slut's ass from hell to breakfast until she told me where Caylee was. Why didn't you? You never once went out to search for Caylee. Why?"

"What's the real story with this foundation you've created? Hey, I wanted you on the show, so I'll filter the money to you however you want. But is this new foundation actually going to DO anything?"

But, the "tough questions" will never be asked. Dr. Phil is going for ratings. The Anthonys are a family incapable of telling the truth. Theirs is not a story with a message of regrets, lessons learned, and hope for a better day in the face of the staggering loss of Caylee. The Anthonys are simply being granted air time to do what they've always done - lie and deny.

Casey Anthony Ordered To Serve Probation

Hellooo, Hizzoner!

Teflon-Girl, Casey Anthony, and her coterie of legal clowns got a long-overdue legal smackdown yesterday when Judge Belvin Perry ruled that Casey Anthony must return to Orlando by August 26 to serve a year's probation.

Justice/Karma/Paybacks/Observations/Commentary -

Jose Baez's must've misplaced his Perma-Smirk in the wake of Perry's ruling. How else to explain yesterday's absence from the glare of the media? Bozo salivates like one of Pavlov's dogs at the sight of a camera. Perhaps he was busy packing to hop the red-eye to New York, where his good buddy, Geraldo Rivera, is waiting to console him.

Cheney Mason neglected to get a manicure, or he surely would have been flashing his trademark middle finger at any unfortunate that happened to cross his path.

Jane Velez Mitchell pitched an impressive on-air tantrum over Perry's ruling. She tossed whatever shred of journalistic integrity she possessed to the wind with her wailing about the unfairness of Perry's ruling. How could Belvin expect someone as notorious as Casey Anthony to serve probation? Casey has to be kept safe!

Casey Anthony will have to get a job (insert rude laughter here). Under the terms of her probation, Casey will have to seek gainful employment. Her Heinous no longer has the option of stealing from her parents and friends to fund her trips to Target. Given her dexterity with tape, Casey should have no problem picking up something at a packing company.

Jose Baez is not a good pimp. In the aftermath of Casey's "Not Guilty" verdict, it was clear that Baez thought he and Casey were on the fast track to raking in the big bucks. While prattling on-air about the public needing to "respect the verdict of the jury", Bozo was busy behind the scenes, trying to cash in on Casey's notoriety. What he never considered was the vociferous court of public opinion. Jose's dreams of he and Casey laughing all the way to the bank evaporated, as an outraged public bombarded ABC, NBC, and CBS, as well as their sponsors, threatening boycotts if Casey were paid for an interview. People don't like child killers. People don't like child killers getting rich.

Looking ahead -

If Casey's defense team is concerned about Casey's safety, once she returns to Orlando, they should hire Lee-Grace Dougherty as her bodyguard. The pistol-packing former stripper, while not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is a crack shot, and has shown herself capable of delivering impressive whump-ass when cornered. Lee-Grace is a little under the weather at the moment, having just gotten shot in the leg, but she'll be back in fighting form soon. Yes, yes, Lee-Grace is facing a lengthy prison sentence. But all Bozo needs to do is take on Lee-Grace as a client and get himself 12 jurors from Pinellas County. Lee-Grace will then be quickly aquitted, and can serve her probation guarding Casey.

Best Case Scenario -

Lee-Grace gets mad at Casey, a huge catfight ensures (Lee-Grace will no doubt win), both gals are held in violation of their probation, and are sent back to jail.

Anything can happen...

Beating The Heat And Booted From Wal-Mart

With crippling heat affecting most of the country, many are hard-pressed to stay cool as the temperature skyrockets.

Sandi McMillin, of Eugene, Oregon, thought she'd found a surefire way to beat the heat. When her sister, Karla Vogt. asked her to take a trip to Wal-Mart, Sandi popped on a bikini top and a pair of shorts, and away they went.

Shortly after the gals began browsing the aisles, they were approached by an employee, who advised Ms. McMillan that she needed to don a shirt or leave the store, stating that Ms. McMillan's attire possibly posed a health code violation.

"I was horrified," McMillin said in an interview, "I am embarressed. I hadn't done anything obnoxious or outlandish."

McMillin claims she was then escorted out of the store.

Ashley Hardie, a Wal-Mart spokesperson, said that McMillin was not forced to leave the store, but that other customers had complained about McMillin's attire.

"We can understand her frustration. It was not our intent to offend the customer, and we have apologized to her. We have also reinforced with our associates our expectations of how to handle these matters."

McMillin, who purchased the foxy bikini top at Wal-Mart last year, has announced she will never shop at Wal-Mart again.

Let's give the poor dear the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she hadn't caught up on the laundry. Maybe Ms. McMillin is in the throes of menopause and the hot flashes temporarily robbed her of reason. Or maybe, in her mind's eye, she sees herself as she was twenty years ago - flatter stomach, perkier boobs, and tighter thighs.

Whatever her reasoning for her fashion faux pas, Sandi surely deserves a spot in the gallery of pictures at the hilariously painful People of Wal-Mart website (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/). Yes, she's a mild offender, compared to some of the other Wal-Mart shoppers pictured on the site, but she's still a worthy addition. Visit and view, if you dare.

Note - Some days creativity just doesn't fire up in the old brain. Thankfully, my dear friend, Pam, alerted me to the woes of Sandy McMillin, thereby providing the fodder for today's post.

Lucille Ball Born 100 Years Ago Today

Happy 100th, Lucy. There will never be another like you. Thanks for the laughter.

No Ruling Yet On Casey Anthony Probation

Beefy boy, Jose Baez, finger-flipping Cheney Mason, and lispy Lisabeth Fryer appeared before Judge Belvin Perry this morning to argue against Casey Anthony being ordered back to Orlando to serve probation. Teflon Girl, Casey Anthony, did not appear.

Hizzoner patiently listened to Bozo bloviating and Lisabeth lecturing him on his judicial role as they argued that Casey's possible probation issue be tossed. Frank George, with Linda Drane Burdick in attendence, argued that Casey should be required to serve the year probation. The entire hearing was, mercifully, conducted with a minimum of objections, and no sidebars.

No decision was made by Perry today. He pronounced the probation issue "a mess" and said he would rule after doing further research. No date was given for when his decision would be handed down.

Mrs. Mike - A Lingering Mystery, Selling A Love Story, A Surprise Lawsuit

The real-life love story of Katherine Mary O'Fallon Flannigan and Sgt. Mike Flannigan was brought vividly to life in Benedict and Nancy Freedman's Mrs. Mike. Like countless others, I was enthralled and inspired by the love Kathy and Mike shared, the adventures they experienced, and the tragedies they suffered.

Every time I reread the book, it left me with a hunger for more information about the couple. What did they look like? Did they raise the children they adopted? Daggone it, did they live happily ever after?

It wasn't until 2008, after stumbling across an excellent article written by Peggy Orenstein, that I learned a portion of the truth behind the fiction the Freedmans had crafted in telling the story of Kathy and Mike (Peggy's article appears in the June 2008 archives on this blog, for those that haven't read it yet).

This morning, after waking early, and on the heels of my yearly reread of Mrs. Mike, I again took to Google to search for more information. The Turner Classic Movie website revealed a surprising tidbit about the elusive Kathy Flannigan.

According to Daily Variety writer Virginia Wright, in her May 17, 1947 column, Kathy traveled to Hollywood in 1945, met with agent Laura Wilk, and submitted a story about her life with Mike. Ms. Wilk declined the story, but felt it had potential. She then introduced Kathy to Benedict and Nancy Freedman. Mrs. Mike was subsequently published in 1947. The book was also serialized in the Atlantic Monthly between February and April of 1947.

In 1949, Mrs. Mike was made into a movie. Loosely based upon the Freedman's book, the movie paired Dick Powell as Mike and Evelyn Keyes as Kathy. It is, to use an antiquated phrase, a penny dreadful, and not worth the time it takes to watch.

In 1951, Kathy filed a lawsuit against the producers of the movie and the Freedmans for $25,000, seeking the unpaid balance for the rights to her story. On July 23, 1951, the suit was dropped. The determination was that only the Freedmans were contractually bound to Kathy Flannigan, not the producers of the film. Whether the Freedmans and Kathy reached any financial settlement is unknown.

Kathy Flannigan died in 1954. Nancy Freedman died in 2010, at the age of 90. Their brief collaboration resulted in a book that is cherished by many to this day. Little did feisty Kathy know that her love story would continue to inspire and intrigue millions.

Mrs. Mike ends with Mike and Kathy rebuilding their family with the adoption of three children. Many years ago, their adoption story inspired an eight-year-old that was reading the book for the first time. She announced to her mother that that this was the best book she had ever read, and that, someday, she was going to adopt a baby "just like Kathy."

That eight-year-old is now a middle-aged woman - me. I learned that the three children adopted by Mike and Kathy were invented by the Freedmans as they embellished Kathy and Mike's story. In reality, Mike and Kathy adopted one other child, and it's unknown if the child survived to adulthood. But, inspired by Kathy and Mike, I kept my long-ago promise, and adopted my daughter 12 years ago.

My daughter has not yet read Mrs. Mike, being caught up in all things Twilight and Harry Potter. But she will. In the meantime, I will continue to search for the true Kathy Flannigan and Sgt. Mike.

TMZ Posts Pics of "Casey Anthony"

UPDATE - On TMZ Live this afternoon, one of the staff members stated that TMZ did NOT pay Casey Anthony for the pictures posted on their website. It was said that TMZ paid a "licensing fee" to SplashNewsOnline.com for the pictures. So, where and how did SplashNewsOnline.com acquire the pictures (none of which appear on their website)?

Prior to TMZ's staff member commenting that they had paid a licensing fee for the photos, I actually attempted to call into TMZ during the live portion of the show. A screener answered the phone, asking what my question was. I politely explained that I was calling to ascertain if TMZ had paid for the photos. The screener put me on hold, then the call was disconnected about five minutes later. I was actually able to get through again, and the same screener answered. I explained that the previous call had been disconnected, and advised him that I had spoken to him previously. He then asked me if I had any comments about  what the staff was currently discussing on-air. I made a general comment, and the screener told me he would pass the remarks along and hung up on me.

**********

This morning, TMZ published 27 pictures, purported to be of Her Heinous, Casey Anthony, out and about in Ohio this past Sunday.

If the pictures are authentic, Anthony is hardly living the bella vita. She's shown riffling through racks of clothes at an Old Navy, holding a cell phone, and sipping on Starbucks. She is alone in all of the shots.

Of greater importance then the identity of the woman is the pictures, is the question as to how TMZ managed to obtain them.

Jose Baez wasted no time after Casey's release to rush to various media outlets, attempting to sell his cash cow to the highest bidder. But with the unprecedented backlash in the wake of Casey's aquittal, the big bucks haven't materialized. Those opposed to Casey and crew profiting from Caylee's death have been diligent in making their revulsion known to the major networks and their sponsors. In response, the major networks have stated that they will not pay Casey Anthony for an interview. Baez himself was dropped by a PR firm less then 5 hours after he signed with them.

Baez is now left with his unmarketable client. Did Baez approach Harvey Levin and TMZ, arranging the photo-op, hoping to glean some quick cash? Many of the pictures appear to be casually staged - the woman clearly is aware that she is being photographed in many of the shots.

More importantly, if the woman in the photos is Casey Anthony, did TMZ pay for the pictures? Harvey, we're waiting for your response...

If Casey Kept A Journal - Part 4

Where the hell is Jose? Mason just told me I'm supposed to serve probation for those checks I took from Amy. So, she was dumb enough to leave them lying around. I only admitted I took them because I was already stuck in jail. And now I have to report back to Orlando in 72 hours? Jose better get here soon, and tell me that we're going to get out of this. I am NOT serving any damn parole! This is really going to mess up our plans.

Strickland? I thought that asshole was out of the picture. Jose wanted me to act crazy? Oh, I'll give him crazy if we have to go back there. Maybe I should go along with Jose's plan to have me act nuts. That should work.

Okay, Dorothy just got here and she's patting my arm, so I'm trying to calm down a little bit and think. She says there will be lots of cameras, and it will be great to have everyone look at me again. But Jose promised me that I'd make a lot of money the next time I was on camera, so this really sucks.

No, I'm still mad. I'm going to get out of this. Where the hell is Jose?

Just Not Diana

Princess Anee's daughter, Zara Phillips. was married yesterday. Prince Charles and his missus, Camilla Parker Bowles, attended. All these years later, every time I see CPB, I still think, "Well, she's just not Diana."

Mariha Smith

"Answer me, O Lord, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me. Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble."
- Psalm 69:16-17

Please answer me, God. WHY???

If Casey Kept A Journal - Part 3

WHERE IS MY MONEY??? Jose said I was a hot commo...comma...camadatee...no, I didn't spell that right. Anyway, he said I was hot and he promised me we'd be rich by the end of the month. Hello??? Have I seen a check yet?

God, I'm bored. How many beers are left? Geez, less then a six-pack. Okay, Mason's going to the liquor store later today, so he'll just have to get me some more. I just hope he doesn't start whining again about how much everything costs.

I don't know why Jose won't talk to that guy Larry Flynt. I don't have a problem taking my clothes off for anyone. And this time I'll get paid for it! They just can't shoot my back...the acne's not gone yet. My tattoo still looks great, though. But Larry only offered $500,000, and I'm worth a lot more then that. Jose wishes Playboy had made me an offer, but they didn't. Well, that Hefner guy is old anyway, and he was more worried about getting dumped by his girlfriend, or something. His loss.

When Jose comes back from New York we are going to have a talk. I am so sick of him flying back and forth, and then he never comes home with a check. He always says he's "in discussions" with the TV stations. All he's doing is stuffing his face at restaurants, or yapping on TV to that loud guy with the big mustash (have to look up how to spell that word), Geraldo. Jose says he's talking to Geraldo for free, because it's good publicity for us. Okay, but, the guy has a boat, and he hasn't even invited me on it yet. I need to work on my tan, too.

Jose is now trying to say that maybe we can't make a lot of money right away. What the hell is he talking about? I mean, I'm on TV every day. Someone's always talking about me. I love how they say I'm going to make money whether people hate me or not. Everyone wants me, except for that old bag Nancy Grace. She keeps calling me "tot mom" and a killer. Hasn't someone else's kid diappeared yet? God, lady, move ON.

Am definiely not going to talk to that Al Taylor guy anymore. He didn't bring me a check when he came to visit. Asshole - he said I'd get a million dollars. Then he said he'd only pay $50,000 right away, and the rest after the interview. He was trying to tell me how the interview would have to go to make the deal. No one tells me what to do.

Now Jose says we have to come up with a new business plan for marketing me. He says ABC is pretending they're not interested in me anymore, and that if they ever did interview me, that they wouldn't pay me, so they're out. Jose says CBS doesn't have enough money, but that NBC is still looking good for us, but that they're telling everyone they won't pay me. Jose says they will, they just have to do it in a way that no one finds out. 

He tried to sell the video of me on the plane the night I got out, but he said no one wanted it. He said people got turned off that I was drinking a beer and it seemed like I was celebrating. Well, duh, of course I was celebrating. I kept telling Jose I'd get out if I never talked, and it worked. But he says I didn't act like I was sad or sorry about Caylee dying. Why would I be sad? Besides, no one is interested in Caylee anymore.

Oh, that reminds me, now I'm supposed to be learning to greeve (don't think that's the right spelling) about Caylee dying. He says I don't ever have to say how Caylee died, I just have to act sad about it. And I'm supposed to act like I have mental problems, so people will start to feel sorry for me. Then he'll tell the media I'm better, and they'll really want to talk to me. He says that until I go on TV, he's going to try to get a job somewhere as a legal expert. I made him famous! But he hasn't told me yet how much money he'll pay me for that. He's not going to get away with just buying me beer and promising me a stylist. Does he think I'm stupid? I want cash!

Plus, Jose says when I go out I'll probably always need a bodyguard. He and Mason are worried about my safety. They think people are so mad at me that they might want to hurt me. Get over it, people. I'm free! Oh, that reminds me, I still have to write a thank you note to the jurors. I don't see why I have to, but Jose says I do. I hope I don't have to write 12 notes. No, I'll just write one, that's easier. A lot of people call them the Pinellas Pinheads, but I think I'll just say, "Hello, Everyone," or something friendly like that.

Hey, having a bodyguard is kinda cool. But we're going to lose the old fart that's guarding me now. Once I start doing interviews, I'll be able to go to clubs again. I can't wait! I'm going to make Jose hire some younger guy who's hot to protect me. An old guy isn't good for my image.

Well, Jose's due back in a couple of hours. He told me if I got bored while he was gone, then I should work on my book. I've tried, but it's hard. I can't write about what happened to Caylee or my family, or my time in jail, or anything like that. Jose says people already think I'm a liar, and that if I write about that stuff then they won't buy my book. He says I should try to write about all I've learned from everything that's happened. I'll talk to him about that some more when he gets home. What the hell does he mean? What was I supposed to learn? Time for another beer.

Channelling Scarlett O'Hara

As God is my witness, as God is my witness, I am getting my daughter OUT of the Duval County public school system and into a private school before she enters 9th grade. We're going to get through this, and when it's over we'll never have to worry about budget cuts, or a lack of transportation to her magnet school, or the possibility of  her being forced into a neighborhood school to accept a lesser education. As God is my witness, it will never happen again.

Remembering Major Sullivan Ballou

Historian Robin Young is the author of the book "For Love and Liberty: The Untold Civil War Story of Major Sullivan Ballou and His Famous Love Letter."

150 Years ago today, Sullivan Ballou, a major in the Union Army, died in the First Battle of Bull Run. He had volunteered to fight, because of his love for his country.

Two weeks before his death, as he awaited his next orders, Sullivan penned a letter to his wife, Sarah (Ballou, an attorney, was also the father of two sons, Edgar and Willie). The letter, eloquent and poignant, was found in Sullivan's trunk after his death. In it, he expresseds his love for his wife and country. It appears below in its entirety:

July the 14th, 1861

Washington, D.C.

My very dear Sarah:

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days -- perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure -- and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine O God, be done.

If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter.

I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing -- perfectly willing -- to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows -- when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children -- is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles I have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us.

I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me -- perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been!

How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours -- always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood.

Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters.

Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them.

O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan

His wife, Sarah, never remarried. She eventually moved to New Jersey, living the rest of her life with her son, Willie. She died in 1917, and is buried next to Sullivan.

Casey Anthony Mask Sells on eBay for $999,900?

The final bid on the Casey Anthony mask that was up for auction on eBay this week (see previous post, below, for picture of mask) was $999,900.  It remains to be seen if the buyer of the mask just had to have it, or if he/she was punking the seller.

The mask was one of nine created for a parady video by an artist named Torro. According to the Los Angeles Times, independent sources are now claiming the seller of the mask, who managed to snag two of the nine created, took the mask "illegally."

If the winner was, indeed, legitimate, he/she will at least get free shipping for the purchase, and the seller, barring any complications, has become an instant near-millionaire.

Somewhere, Casey is probably furiously stomping her murderous feet. Bozo Baez is more then likely hastily preparing a lawsuit against the seller, demanding a cut of the profits from the sale, and urging Casey to quaff another Corona to cool her rage.

Why Corona? According to TMZ, they are reporting to have viewed a video of Casey, shot shortly after her release on July 17. In the video, Anthony is holding a bottle of Corona, exiting the private plane with former attorney Todd Macaluso. TMZ claims that the video is being shopped for sale by Anthony's representatives.

Casey Anthony Mask Up For Grabs on eBay

12:15pm UPDATE - Someone must have retracted their bids, lol. Auction now showing 84 bids and $24,200 for the mask!

11:00am UPDATE - 111 bids, $25,100!!!

Best potential Halloween mask ever created. Certainly scarier then anything that will be found at a costume shop. Casey Anthony's blank eyes and perpetual courtroom pout have been preserved for posterity in this latex mask, currently up for grabs on eBay.

Created for a parody video, this mask is one of nine that were crafted for the video shoot. The numbered mask was listed with an opening bid of $25.00. As of this moment, 108 bids have been placed, with the highest bidder willing to fork over $24,300 to acquire the mask.

If you have a spare $25,000-plus floating about in your bank account, then this mask could still be yours, as the auction ends this evening.

Should the mask prove a too-eccentric acquisition, and you're still inclined to spend that $25,000-plus on something, I will happily provide my email address. Like the seller of the mask, I accept PayPal, as well.

Jesse James, Kat Von D Split

Serial cheater Jesse James and Elvira-clone honey, Kat Von D, are history. The couple, who began dating last summer, have ended their engagement and have broken up.

Rather then mourn the demise of their relationship privately, the couple overcame their grief long enough to issue respective statements. 

"I'm so sad because I really love her. The distance between us was just too much." James informed People magazine, referencing the couple's inability to make their long-distance relationship work. 

Ms. Von D opted for theraputic relief by taking to Twitter with her announcement. "I am no longer w Jesse and out of respect for him, his family, and myself, that's all the info I'd like to share. Thanks for respecting that."

The couple began dating last summer, shortly after James was divorced from actress Sandra Bullock. Throughout their brief course of true love, James and Von D gooily trumpeted their affection for each other to the media. James professed to have finally found his soulmate and the love of his life. Von D, to her (slight) credit, was a tad more circumspect in her comments to the press and her tweets to her followers.

James will no doubt surface shortly with some harlot, give yet another "exclusive" statement to the press, and again profess that he's found the perfect woman. Perhaps Kat Von D will return to Nikki Sixx - they were together approximately two years prior to their split.

Kat's show, LA Ink, returns for another season in two days. Those mourning the demise of the tacky, oops, tattooed pair's love will be able to catch a glimpse the magic they once shared in several episodes of the new season.

James and Von D had planned to wed this summer.

So, This Guy Walks Into Antiques Roadshow...

...with a collection of five Chinese cups. He told Asian arts expert Lark Mason that he's been collecting since the 1970s, picking up a cup here and there, inexpensively, and that he has no idea what the cups are worth.

Hopefully, the gentleman was seated when Mason delivered his assessment. Mason informed the collector, who wishes to remain anonymous at this time, that his five cups are valued at $1-$1.5 MILLION dollars.

The cups, which date back to the late 17th or early 18th century, are carved from rhinoceros horns, and have become the priciest find in the 16-year history of  the US version of Antiques Roadshow.

Chinese antiques have commanded strong prices recently, which accounts for the high value of the five cups. The second highest appraisal recorded on Antiques Roadshow was in Raleigh, NC in 2009, when a collection of Chinese carved jade bowls were estimated to be worth $1.07 million.

"As we continue our 16th season production show here in Tulsa, we couldn't be more excited about such an extraordinary, rare treasure, and we look forward to sharing it with the nation," executive producer Marsha Remko said in a statement on Monday.

The three Antiques Roadshow episodes, filmed in Tulsa, Oklahoma, will air on PBS in 2012.