How the Insipid White Chick Has Ruined Hawaii 5-0

The second season of Hawaii 5-0 stinks. The demise of the once-great show can be summed up in two words: Lori Weston.

Hawaii 5-0 roared onto TV in the fall of 2010. Billed as a reboot of the original Hawaii 5-0 many grew up watching, the show sported a fresh look, an exciting cast, and edgy plots.

Alex O'Loughlin, Scott Caan, Grace Park, and Daniel Dae Kim were perfect for the parts of Steve, Danny, Kono, and Chin. Their chemistry and camaraderie was evident; their acting - superb. Mark Dacascos, as Steve's longtime nemesis, Wo Fat, was a pleasant surprise, and a worthy addition to the roster.

Then in early 2011, the show got weird. Out of nowhere, Insipid White Chick #1 was thrown into the mix. Larisa Oleynik (a fine actress) was cast as Jenna Kaye, and the magic of the show began to fade. Ms. Oleynik had little opportunity to exercise her acting chops, as the writers of the show, having tossed her into the mix, didn't seem to know quite what to do with her. Their attempts at making Jenna appear fearless and feisty failed miserably. Jenna was more often annoying then not, and many fans of the show were vociferous in their dislike of the character.

I admit, it was with great relief that I watched Jenna hop on the plane to search for her fiance in the opening episode of Season Two. Any hopes of the show returning to its initial greatness was quickly dispelled, as Insipid White Chick #2 - Lori Weston - was quickly foisted onto the team and the viewers.

Understand, please, that I am NOT disparaging Lauren German, the actress who portrays Lori Weston. The woman can only work with what she's given, and though the writers have given her WAY too much face time on the show, her character is poorly written and developed.

The lame explanation given for Lori's presence on the show is that the governor has appointed her as a type of watchdog for the 5-0 team. What has become disgusting is the writers shoving the character down the viewer's throats.

Wow - what a woman this Lori is. She's a profiler, an expert in martial arts, a crack shot, and knows everything about every bit of new technology that exists. In short order, she's been thrust into nearly every scene.

Those fun days of the "carguments" with Steve and Danny? Gone. Now Super-Lori intrudes. Remember the beautiful, intelligent, kick-ass Kono of the first season? Gone. Super-Lori has taken over the majority of Kono's job. Chin Ho who? Super-Lori has pushed him damn near out of the picture as well.

The problem is that the character of Lori Weston adds nothing to the show. But the writers would have us believe that there are not enough superlatives on the planet for the glorious creature they've written. Clearly someone in the writer's circle is working through his issues of never dating the Prom Queen in high school. Because the character of Lori Weston could ONLY been invented by male writers. Such a wearying Superwoman/Fox/Earth Mother/Goddess would never have been created by a female writer. Real women know that such a creature doesn't exist. Lori would have been presented as more well-rounded, with a past, or some angst, or dammit, a flaw. And a female writer sure as hell wouldn't have tarted Lori up in tight pants and heels, as the writers have been wont to do. We get the point guys - you think Lori's hot. And it's gotten very old, very quickly.

Only when the writers of the show are female is Super-Lori, not chewing up the scenery. Unfortunately, there have only been four episodes this season written by women. Case in point - the episode that aired this past Monday. Melissa Glenn and Jessica Rieder successfully managed to inject some of the former spark the show once possessed. Kono & Chin actually had something to DO in this episode, Steve and Danny bantered in the car as in the days of old. And, interestingly, Super-Lori damn near got her ass whumped (so much for those martial arts skills!) by actress Aimee Garcia, who portrayed a memorable, deadly kidnapper. Now, that's an actress who could bring some much-needed spice to the lagging show. My only quibble about this episode is with the calf-eyed glance Super-Lori cast at Steve at the end of the episode.

On next week's episode, Chin and Malia get married. Let's hope the show focuses on the happy event. But, as the episode has been writen by a male, I'm not holding out much hope. Viewers will probably be forced to endure more of Super-Lori's wearying presence. Let's just hope that she doesn't hop up in the middle of the wedding, push the minister aside, and perform Chin & Malia's wedding ceremony, because, remember, she can do anything.

So, how can the writers fix the mess this season has become? Getting rid of Super-Lori would be an excellent first step. No, I'm not advocating killing her off. But give the broad a desk job in the Governor's office, send her on an extended vacation, or pack her off on a mission of some sort.

Restoring some badly needed diversity to the show would also be welcome. Season two smacks of white-bread - both in the majority of the writing, and in the excessive focus on Super-Lori. Damn, those Asians on the team sure got dumbed down once she showed up! Okay, Masi Oka, as Max Bergman, has gotten more screen time this season. But what was his big moment? Why, escorting Super-Lori, tricked out a la Sandy from "Grease", to a party. Excuse me while I gag.

The last thing this show needs is another insipid white chick. Let's hope the male writers wise up quickly.