Casey Anthony Ordered To Serve Probation

Hellooo, Hizzoner!

Teflon-Girl, Casey Anthony, and her coterie of legal clowns got a long-overdue legal smackdown yesterday when Judge Belvin Perry ruled that Casey Anthony must return to Orlando by August 26 to serve a year's probation.

Justice/Karma/Paybacks/Observations/Commentary -

Jose Baez's must've misplaced his Perma-Smirk in the wake of Perry's ruling. How else to explain yesterday's absence from the glare of the media? Bozo salivates like one of Pavlov's dogs at the sight of a camera. Perhaps he was busy packing to hop the red-eye to New York, where his good buddy, Geraldo Rivera, is waiting to console him.

Cheney Mason neglected to get a manicure, or he surely would have been flashing his trademark middle finger at any unfortunate that happened to cross his path.

Jane Velez Mitchell pitched an impressive on-air tantrum over Perry's ruling. She tossed whatever shred of journalistic integrity she possessed to the wind with her wailing about the unfairness of Perry's ruling. How could Belvin expect someone as notorious as Casey Anthony to serve probation? Casey has to be kept safe!

Casey Anthony will have to get a job (insert rude laughter here). Under the terms of her probation, Casey will have to seek gainful employment. Her Heinous no longer has the option of stealing from her parents and friends to fund her trips to Target. Given her dexterity with tape, Casey should have no problem picking up something at a packing company.

Jose Baez is not a good pimp. In the aftermath of Casey's "Not Guilty" verdict, it was clear that Baez thought he and Casey were on the fast track to raking in the big bucks. While prattling on-air about the public needing to "respect the verdict of the jury", Bozo was busy behind the scenes, trying to cash in on Casey's notoriety. What he never considered was the vociferous court of public opinion. Jose's dreams of he and Casey laughing all the way to the bank evaporated, as an outraged public bombarded ABC, NBC, and CBS, as well as their sponsors, threatening boycotts if Casey were paid for an interview. People don't like child killers. People don't like child killers getting rich.

Looking ahead -

If Casey's defense team is concerned about Casey's safety, once she returns to Orlando, they should hire Lee-Grace Dougherty as her bodyguard. The pistol-packing former stripper, while not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is a crack shot, and has shown herself capable of delivering impressive whump-ass when cornered. Lee-Grace is a little under the weather at the moment, having just gotten shot in the leg, but she'll be back in fighting form soon. Yes, yes, Lee-Grace is facing a lengthy prison sentence. But all Bozo needs to do is take on Lee-Grace as a client and get himself 12 jurors from Pinellas County. Lee-Grace will then be quickly aquitted, and can serve her probation guarding Casey.

Best Case Scenario -

Lee-Grace gets mad at Casey, a huge catfight ensures (Lee-Grace will no doubt win), both gals are held in violation of their probation, and are sent back to jail.

Anything can happen...