Gosh, the 17th is almost here and I've got SO much to do! It's a bite having to sit here a few days longer, but Fatso in the black robe really had it out for me. Ha, ha - he had to give me credit for time served. But that lavender sweater I was wearing for sentencing wasn't tight enough anyway. And I'm still working on getting my eyebrows right. Stupid eyebrow pencil. Jose keeps telling me I'm a hot commodity - I gotta look up the meaning of that word. If that's a good thing, then he should be able to get a stylist in here. He says I'm hot - DUH- but I really have to look good for the media when I walk out the door.
Haven't decided yet if I should leave my hair long or not. Thank God they show Jersey Shore on TV here. I really like what that girl Snooki does with her hair. My hair looks better then hers when I do it that way, and I am DEFINITELY hotter then she is. Jose says I'll probably get to meet her, but that I can't drink as much as she does, or it'll look bad. And he just HAD to bring up those old pictures of me dressed in the flag again. Usually he yells about that one of me peeing in the street.
But, wow - drinking. I can't wait. I really gave Jose hell when they all went over to that restaurant to celebrate after I was found not guilty. HELLO??? I mean, I'm hot and they're only famous because of ME. They should've waited till I was out, and we could all party together. Well, maybe not - they're kinda old, and though it was fun being patted by Dorothy during the trial, she really looked stupid jumping up and down like that. Mason was kinda cool, though, giving everyone the finger. But Jose says I can't do that, either. Sometimes he makes me so mad. He says there's no need to do it...something about people feeling like the jurors already flipped off the justice system by finding me not guilty. Sometimes he can be pretty deep.
He also says not to worry about silly things like backlash - whatever that is. Oh, shit, I almost forgot. Someone has to find me a tighter shirt to wear when I leave here. Jose's NOT going to say I can't wear one, because I have great boobs. I'm hot, and time to show the girls off! I still don't understand why they made me wear those crappy, loose outfits in court. They all kept telling me I had to present a good image or something like that. Whatever.
When Jose came to visit the other night, he was kinda bummed out. I mean, he still told me I was hot, but he was a little sad. Something about an agency in New York ... he said they signed him up for a deal, then dropped him a few hours later. He used that backlash word again - maybe I should find out what that means, since he won't shut up about it.
But he kept talking about himself and I got really mad at him. I mean, I really tried to make him feel better. I told him the jurors really liked his flip charts and the bright colors on them. The jurors didn't even pay any attention to the rest of that crap the prosecutors called evidence, did they? And, really, what do I care about HIS lost opportunities? Hey, I know what that word means, and I even spelled it right! I really got mad at him when he tried to say we probably wouldn't make as much money as he first thought. I mean, he'd just told me I was hot, then he tried to bum me out!
I really had to set Jose straight and let him know that he wasn't going to waste my time talking about his problems. It's not like he was the one that spent time in jail - HELLO! But I cheered him up by reminding him we could still get lots of money from selling pictures of Caylee to the media. Where are those pictures, anyway? Mom sure took enough of them. I look hot in all my pictures. But Jose tried to piss me off by saying the media will pay more right now for pictures of Caylee. As if. I mean, I only think about Caylee when people tell me I HAVE to, or when they tell me to try to look sad that Caylee died, or something. Sometimes he's so stupid. I mean, he actually seems to forget that people are only interested in ME.
Jose did say it may be a little awkward (I know what that word means, too!) getting Mom and Dad to give me some pictures of the kid. He'll just have to handle that. I mean, Dad should be over Jose saying he molested me by now, don't you think? But I really have to remind Jose to be sure to grab some of the pictures where I look really hot.
And my Mom better not be thinking she's going to write a book, or something, about all of this. I can't believe Jose keeps telling me I should be grateful to my mom for committing perjury on the stand for me. Who does he think he is always using these big words around me? Why can't he just say "lie"? God, lawyers can be such a bore. And I'm still mad at Mom for dressing up every day in court. It's not as if anyone would look at her old ass anyway. I'm the one who's hot.
Jose is still trying to figure out where I'm going to stay once I get outta here. He said Mason gave an interview saying maybe I could stay at his house a few days. But Jose told me it would be bad manners to ask Mason where he keeps his checkbook. I mean, why would Mason even CARE if I used a few of his checks? I haven't been to Target in three whole years! Amy was such a bitch for filing those check fraud charges against me. How else was I supposed to get bras and beer? Tony thought I was really hot in those bras, too.
Well, it's almost time for lights out here and I'm getting sleepy. Jose said he'd be here to visit tomorrow. You know, I haven't asked him lately if he's still married or not. I know I'm hotter then his wife. If that broad is still around, I'm gonna be really mad. I mean, she has got to GO. Oh, that reminds me - when I get out, I need to get to a computer and look up a few new words. Nite nite.
